How to be more intimidating
) I got a whole slew of responses, but versions of the same question kept popping up over and over again: I myself have been called intimidating a lot throughout my life.
It all started with my father who, trying his hardest to console a weepy teenager who didn’t have a date to prom, told me that it wasn’t my fault that men didn’t want to date me. He totally meant it as a compliment — he’d raised a strong, outspoken young woman, and he knew it — so I tried to take it as such.
I tend to let things roll off my back, but I’m not afraid to speak up if something pisses me off.
I’m independent — I live alone, I support myself, and I don’t need anyone to help me change a lightbulb.
At a certain point, the jig will be up, and then what kind of relationship will you be left with?
And frankly, attempting to even figure out what people want from you — and what they deem “intimidating” — is a losing battle.
A few weeks ago, I posted a survey to my Twitter, asking my followers what they wanted to see in this column.
(It’s still live, so you can feel free to add in your two cents!
Be yourself, work on your self-confidence and stop underestimating yourself.
The queer men and women I spoke to had never been given the excuse of intimidation as the reason why they weren’t finding dates (though, admittedly, my findings are 100% anecdotal).
So, being a woman who used to mold and fold herself to meet society’s standards of “the girl he wants to date,” I started Googling to see exactly what men found intimidating in a woman, all in an effort to fix it in myself.
I quit hiding parts of myself from my dates so that they could really tell who I was, and this made me a better dater in a lot of ways.
It allowed me to fully discuss my standards and what I was looking for.